When your knickers grow a beard
by mbmimi
Summary: Sequel to 'One last snog'. Granddad and Maisie's wedding puts a bit of a strain on Gee and Dave, as someone makes a surprise appearence. R&R!
1. Oh my giddy God, we forgot the rings

**It's 11.30 p.m. now. I was actually trying to fall asleep, when this popped into my head. I just **_**had**_** to write it! **

**So, here's the long-awaited sequel to 'One last snog'!**

**I still have to come up with a title, though.**

* * *

**sunday november 6****th**

**11 a.m.**

**granddad and maisie's wedding**

**sitting in the hallway**

I wouldn't have thought that I would ever say this, but being a bridesmaid is so dull..

**five minutes later**

And who would have thought chapels have hallways?

I certainly wouldn't.

But appearantly they do.

**one minute later**

Anyone who would walk into the chapel right now would see a pink cheesepuff with giganticibus nunga's, droning around about complete rubbish, and a baby blue cheesepuff, simply being bored, and possibly dying because of it.

And sad enough, I'm the baby blue cheesepuff.

How utterly and incredibly naff my life is.

**one minute later**

The nub and gist of it all is that Mutti and I are sitting in the so-called hallway of a godforsaken chapel in the middle of nowhere, waiting.

**fifteen minutes later**

What are we waiting for anyway? I'll ask Mum.

I said "Mutti, what are we waiting for?"

"Oh, they had to prepare the chapel for us, there has been a funeral before the wedding."

"A funeral?"

"Yes, chapels have multiple uses, you know. Have you seen the vicar, by the way? He's quite fit looking for his age.."

This is just one of the many examples of my family's insanity.

**48 years later**

The vicar came shuffling up to us.

"Mrs. Nicolson, we.."

"Ooh, call me Connie!" Oh dear Lord Sandra. Mum cannot be gushing over the vicar.

The vicar blushed (!) and said "Okay, _Connie_, the chapel is prepared for you.." He winked at her. Oh my giddy God, isn't he supposed to be married to Baby Jesus?

I narrowed my eyes at him and said "Oh, Mum, isn't that incredibly fab? Let's get Dad, you know, your dearly beloved _husband_!"

I thought the vicar's head was going to explode.

What larks I'm having, and the ceremony hasn't even begun yet!

**one minute later**

As we walked down the hallway Mum tutted at me.

"Now, Georgie, that wasn't very nice.."

"What?"

"Teasing the vicar like that.. He was just being nice.."

I raised my eyebrows at her. "Mum, he was like a hundred years old. You can't be coming on to him like that. And by the way, you're married. To dad. Who is right around the corner right now."

She just tutted at me.

**five minutes later**

Maisie is a big white puff, covered in lacey bits.

I have to say I'm a bit surprised in her lack of knitwear. She's only wearing a knitted headband and a knitted veil.

I wonder how she sees through it.

**ten minutes later**

**walking down the aisle**

Uncle Eddie is 'playing' the organ. I can see his eggy head shining from the other side of the chapel.

**two seconds later**

He missed a note, and now the whole bridal march is off-tune. I nearly choked laughing.

**one second later**

Maisie nearly fell over and bumped into Mum's nunga's, head first. How disturbing.

Lucky for her she can't see all too clearly.

**one minute later**

The incredibly dull vicar was eying Mum whilst marrying Granddad and Maisie. What a chav.

Mum and Dad actually are the witnesses, carrying the rings and such.

**one minute later**

Oh, buggeration. The rings. I was supposed to remind Mum to bring the rings. And I didn't remind her.

Mum seemed to notice too, she stared at me, wide eyed, mouth agog. She pointed at her wedding ring and shrugged her shoulders. I did the naff pointing-over-the-shoulder thing, to indicate that they're back home.

I think that Mutti got it. She looked like she was not-so-casually strolling into strop central. She got a bit red around the nose, stomped over to me, grabbed me by the wrist and slurred me outside.

**thirty seconds later**

"Oh my God. We forgot the rings! I can't believe we forgot the rings! What do we do now?"

"Drive back and get them?"

"Georgia, it'll take ages. Even you know that." Was that an insult masked as sheer desperadoes? Clever, Mutti, very clever.

"Mum. Think clear for a bit. They can't get married without rings."

"Yes. Right. Er.."

She stook her hand in her dress, tousled around her nunga's a bit, and fished out the car keys. Erlack, erlack!

I said "Mum, have you been keeping them there the whole time? You can't be serious."

"Why not? They come in very handy sometimes."

Oh, dear lord Sandra. I was brought up by the lead actress in "Chicago". That's how dull my life is. People actually wonder why I'm insane.. Hah.

**ten minutes later**

Mum is pushing the clown car to its ultimate limit, i.e. 50 miles an hour.

**five minutes later**

We made it back home in fifteen minutes, instead of the half hour it took us to get to the chapel on the way there.

Which means we were driving 25 miles an hour on the way there. You get my drift.

**one minute later**

Mum nearly pushed me out of the car. I stumbled out and ran towards the house.

**five seconds later**

Oh my giddy God. What is Dave doing here?

He smiled at me. I said "What are you doing here?"

"I thought I would pay my lovely, appreciative girlfriend a visit.."

"My Granddad's wedding is today."

"Oh, right, I forgot."

Then he looked me over and chuckled. "Oy, Kittykat, you look like a giganticibus cheesepuff."

I just looked at him.

"And what happened to your face?"

Mutti did my makeup. Drag queens could learn a whole lot from her, that is _le _fact.

I said "Shut up."

"Although the question is, what are _you_ doing here? You're supposed to be at the wedding."

"We forgot the rings."

He looked like he was going to explode laughing.

**five seconds later**

Dave was laughing his head off, and I just looked at him.

Mum yelled "Georgia, hurry up! What are you even doing standing there like that? Are you insane?!"

Then she saw Dave. She batted her eyelashes and waved.

Dave laughed harder, if even possible.

**two minutes later**

Eventually, we found the rings and went back to the "car". Mum saw Dave and went spazoid.

"Ooh, Dave, fancy seeing you here! We're on our way to the wedding, want to come with?"

I franctically shook my head at Dave. No way I'm exposing him to Granddad's madness.

And of course, he really wanted to go.

He beamed and said "Thank you, Mrs. Nicolson, that would be very nice.."

She said "Ooh, dear boy, call me C..-"

"MUM!"

* * *

**That's it for now. It's different from what I had originally planned, but this just popped into my mind. I actually fell asleep at the computer around 1.30 a.m. I woke up at 3 and rolled right into bed, that's why I'm posting it now. **

**Hit or miss? Please review, tell me what you think.**

**x **

**m. **


	2. I used my amazing mechanical skills

**Thanks for reading and reviewing! 4 story alerts already, I'm proud. Sorry for the wait. I've been busy with school stuff. I've got a week off now, so I've got the time again! ******

**Back to the story; The offical wedding bits aren't going to be too detailed, I've never actually been at a wedding or anything, so yeah. Just to say, I'm fast forwarding a bit to the reception part. It will be more interesting anyway. **

**Anyway, I'm starting this Word Document with an authors' note, so it can go any way. **

* * *

**11.35 a.m.**

**back at the chapel**

We took the back exit and stumbled inside. Everyone was staring at us. Dave was just laughing.

How typical.

**one minute later**

I took my place on the brides' side. Mum adjusted her nungas. The vicar was staring again. I shot him a look. He cleared his throat and restarted the cermony.

**thirty minutes later**

**in the "car"**

Dave and I are in the back with Libbs squeezed in between us. Our "car" is really conspicious, everyone's in black shiny cars. Granddad and Maisie even are in a limo.

_Que-est ce que le point,_ you might wonder.. Just to catch the bull by its whatsits, everyone's in a car with **four wheels**_**.**_

I'm just making my point here.

**one minute later**

Dave is having the time of his life.

He keeps saying "I have always wanted to ride in one of these cars."

"Isn't it exciting, Gee?"

And, worst of all "When I'm eightteen, I'm getting one of these."

I just stared at him.

"What?"

**one minute later**

Libby lurves him, despite his poor taste in cars. I think she even forgot about Josh.

**five minutes later**

Dave pulled Libby onto his lap. Aw..

I'm surprised at how calm she is.. She has to throw a fit soon.

**one minute later**

Libby exploded. (Not literally, you loons, you know, getting vair angry and all that) She started bouncing around and screaming.

I'm Mystic Meg of the forest.

No. Just Mystic Meg. Not the forest. I'm not getting involved with any type of nature-thing soon, I'll tell you that.

**one minute later**

Mum threw her purse at Libby. Libby picked it up from the floor and started playing with it. She instantly calmed down.

**one minute later**

Oh, what larks! Libby managed to force the window open, and threw the purse out. Dave looked at me. I shrugged.

He whispered "Should we tell her?"

"No.. She'll explode."

He grinned. "We should definitely tell her."

"You tell her, she'll kill you."

**ten seconds later**

"Mrs. N? Libby threw your purse out."

"What?"

I said "Libby threw your purse out of the window, Mum."

"WHAT?! Bob, stop the car, NOW!"

Mum opened her window and leaned out.

"Oh, drat. Bob, we need to drive back."

Her purse was only about 50 metres away.

Dad said "Connie, you can surely walk over there to get it."

"No, I can't, Bob. Turn around."

**37 years later**

Eventually, Vati turned the car around and drove 50 metres back to get Mum's purse. When he wanted to turn back, he drove into a ditch.

I'm actually stuck in a three-wheeled so-called car, in a ditch, with the Swiss family mad. And I'm having snogging withdrawals.

This is how sad my life has become.

**one minute later**

Mutti and Vati both got out of the car to 'check the damage'. What kind of damage could be done to a car that's obviously already wrecked? It's got three wheels!

**five minutes later**

Mum made me and Dave walk down the road to 'look out for help'.

**one minute later**

'**down the road'**

I don't see any 'help'.

**ten seconds later**

Dave pushed me in a ditch. How typical.

**five seconds later**

Oh my giddy God. Dave jumped in and sat on me. He's got my hands forced down above my head. He's just looking at me like a looking at thing.

**one minute later**

He's leaning in. But still looking at me. My lips are puckering up vair badly.

**five seconds later**

Bad, bad lips. Dave must have gone mad, hanging above my face like that.

I said "Dave? Have you gone mad?"

"Mad for you, my Kittykat." And he snogged me. Whilst sitting on me. Oo-er.

**five minutes later**

Somehow, I ended up on top of Dave, with my hands under his shirt.

I wonder if that counts as number 7..

**one minute later**

It probably doesn't.

**one second later**

Or does it?

**one second later**

It does.

**one second later**

Doesn't.

**one second later**

Shut up, brain.

**one minute later**

It _is_ the upper body though. And in a way, I'm fondling it.

**one second later**

Oo-er.

**one second later**

SHUT UP!

**three minutes later**

Nuzzling Dave's neck. He did a bit of that moany thing. Has he gone jelloid?

**one second later**

"Dave?"

"Hngh..?"

Fab!

**one minute later**

I rolled off him. Dave's arm is around my shoulders, whilst lying down. It is very comfy.

**five minutes later**

We were peacefully staring at the sky, with an occasional number 6 in between, when Vati's giganticibus arse suddenly appeared at the horizon.

"What in the name of arse are you doing? You were supposed to look for help!"

We sat up straight and looked at him.

Mum came mumming over. "You lot are so irresponsible, it's unbelievable." She adjusted her nungas and tutted off.

Vati said "Aren't we lucky that I used my amazing mechanical skills to fix it all up?"

Dave looked at me. I shrugged my shoulders.

He probably used his gigantic arse to push the car out. That's what he calls mechanical skill.

**ten minutes later**

The reception is being held in a "cute little bar", as Mum so ingeniously put it.

It's called "The Dead Chap".

Giddy God's pyjamas.

**one minute later**

When we went inside, the first 'person' to meet us was Uncle Eddie. He was wearing his feather codpiece over his suit. On his bum. That must mean the elastics are framing his..

SHUT UP BRAIN!! OH MY GOD!

**five seconds later**

He yelled "Oy, look at my tail!" He shook his bum. Mum started laughing like a loon on loon tablets and did linksie upsies with him. They bantered off.

Vati said he was off for a drink.

How typical.

**five minutes later**

Granddad came scampering up to us.

"Well, hello Georgia! Fancy seeing you here! Who's this fine lad you brought with you?"

"This is my boyfriend, Dave."

"Ah, the boyfriend, eh? How long has that been going on?"

"Er, six weeks."

"Ah, I see.." Granddad stroked his beard.

"Granddad, where's Maisie? Why aren't you with her?"

"I was off for a wazz, actually." He turned to Dave. "Care to join?"

Dave shook his head. "No, thank you, I think I'll pass."

Granddad gave us both a fiver.

"You kids be good!"

**one minute later**

We sat down at the family table. Dave put his arm round my shoulders.

**two minutes later**

We were just sitting there, being Norm and Norma Normal, when Cousin James sat down right across us.

He was giving Dave the evils.

**one minute later**

Dave leaned into me and said "Who's the lad sitting across us?"

"That's Cousin James. He's the pervy one."

"I see."

Dave grinned his cheeky grin.

I raised my eyebrows at him. "What are you thinking, mister?"

"Let's have a little fun with James, shall we?"

**five seconds later**

Dave's nuzzling my neck. James is ogling like an ogling ogler.

**one minute later**

He actually huffed, got up, and scampered off! Oh, what larks I'm already having.

**one minute later**

My face is a bit itchy though.

It's probably the twenty layers of makeup.

**five minutes later**

**tarts' wardrobe**

I left Dave at the table with Maisie. That's bound to work out, right?

**one minute later**

I washed it all off and reapplied the essentials, i.e. foundation, mascara, eyeliner, lippy, lipgloss.

I think I look quite decent, apart from the healthy redheadedness Miss Stamp enjoys so much.

**one minute later**

Get out of my brain, Miss Stamp, this is my Granddad's party, not a random popping up momento (oo-er)

**one second later**

SHUT UP BRAIN!

**one minute later**

When I walked out of the tarts' wardrobe, I saw Dave talking to Jas'n'Tom.

And Robbie.

Bugger.

* * *

**So, what do you think?**

**Review review review! **

**x**


	3. Wild thing

**Hmm.. Another week has gone by. I'm terribly sorry, I thought I would have more time because of the autumn break, but it turns out I didn't.. **

**Sorrysorrysorry, don't hate me please. **

**Thanks for reviewing, you always make my day.**

**Soo.. Chapter 3. Finally. :)**

* * *

**1 p.m.**

'**the dead chap'**

**tarts' wardrobe**

Blimey. Robbie, the original Sex God (now ex-Sex God) showed up to see my Granddad get married to a knitting sensation.

**one second later**

Why did he even come here, after the sobfest-breaking-the-heart-of-a-former-Sex-God fandango?

**one second later**

And why did that sentence make me feel a bit miz?

**five seconds later**

I should go over there, just to say hello.

**one minute later**

I'll just stay here, and relax for a bit. Weddings can be very tiring..

I'll just touch up my mascara a bit more.

**one minute later**

My eyelids are heavy.

I should go now.

**one second later**

Now.

**one second later**

NOW!

**one second later**

Why won't my legs move?

**one second later**

Move, legs, MOVE!

**one second later**

Oh, shut up brain. Who ever asked your opinion?

**one minute later**

Jas came strolling in.

"Hi Gee, Dave said you've been in here for a while. He was worried you'd gone to the poo parlour division in an extreme way." She started snorting like a loon.

I biffed her on the head. "Oh, get yourself together, will you, this is a serious matter we have at hand."

Jas did the eyebrow raising thing and snorted.

"Oo-er!"

**five seconds later**

We're both laughing like loons now.

It relieves the tensionosity a bit.

**one minute later**

"Seriously, though, what _is_ taking you so long. Me and Tom brought Robbie, did you see him already?"

Way for Jas to bring the tension back.

I said "Of course I already saw him, Jas, that's why I'm still in here!"

"Why would you hide away from him?"

"Jas. He told me he was in lurve with me, I rejected him because of Masimo, and now I'm going out with Dave."

"You are quite a tart, yes."

I biffed her on the head again and I walked out.

**one second later**

Dave immediately looked over to me and smiled.

He yelled "Oy, Gee, look who I found!"

Bugger.

**three seconds later**

Ho hum, pigs bum, this is going to be a piece of whatsit. Just say hello, and then scamper off.

**one minute later**

I'm standing in a circle with Mrs. Huffy Knickers, Strangy McStrange and Prince Awkward.

I'm just trying to make a point here.

**one minute later**

I was going to say something of complete comedic value (not), for example "I have a bus to catch.", but I was interrupted by Prince Awkward, a.k.a. the former Sex God, a.k.a. Robbie.

He said "So, Georgia, how are you doing? How are things with Masimo?"

Now _that's_ awkward.

**two seconds later**

I said "Er, actually, I, er, well, it's quite a story, you see, I.." I was rambling on like Ellen.

Robbie was looking at me in the classical 'are you bloody insane?!'-way.

"Well.. Masimo didn't want me and Dave to be mates, and I really wasn't sure about that, and then Masimo went on snogging the octopus.."

"He snogged an octopus?!"

"No, not exactly, er.. Well, obviously, you know Lindsay."

Robbie nodded.

I looked at Jas. She was raising her eyebrows at me. I raised mine back.

Robbie said "What about her?"

"He was two timing me with her." He looked at me like a looking at thing.

**one minute later**

"Blimey, that's.. Wow."

"I know. That's what I thought. The thought of him snogging Wet Lindsay whilst snogging me was quite pingy pongoes."

That sounds so familiar! What's this Lindsay stealing my boyfriends fandango all about anyway?

Robbie looked a bit red around the nose. Oh, buggeration. He isn't still going out with her, is he?

Judging the look on his face, he still is.

Oops.

**one second later**

"Robbie, are you.."

He shook his head a few times and said "That's interesting.. I'll have a talk with her about that.."

He shook his head again and half-smiled. "So.. How are you doing, Georgia, you aren't really used to being by yourself.."

"I'm not exactly by myself.."

Robbie looked a bit strange. "Who are you going out with now, then?"

Dave slid his arm around my waist and pulled me into his side.

"I'm going out with Dave."

Robbie did the looking-at-me-looking-at-Dave thing.

"Oh, right, yeah. I always thought you were great together."

Dave and I both said "I know." at the same time.

**five seconds later**

I don't want to think about the decoy duck fandango.

And still, I'm thinking about it now. It makes me feel miz.

**one minute later**

We heard some kind of crashing sound and turned towards it.

It was Mum. On the stage.

**one minute later**

Mum adjusted her nungas and started droning for England.

She said "Hello everyone. We're all here today to celebrate the marriage of my dear father, and his bride, Maisie. You wouldn't think they had it in them, but after all these years, they're still quite wild.. You wouldn't believe everything I've heard, I would never have thought it! For example, when they went on this trip.."

Erlack, erlack.

I need some fresh air.

**one minute later**

**standing outside**

Just standing here. Lonely as a clud.

Better than being inside with my so-called family. That is simply _le_ fact.

**one minute later**

I would like to meet the twit that arranged for Mum to go on stage and speech.

It must have been 'Fat Bob'.

**one minute later**

Erlack a pongoes! Granddad and Maisie, being wild? I don't want to think about what that means.

I know they snog. I saw it at the altar.

Erlack.

**one minute later**

How does Granddad snog with his teeth falling out every other minute?

**five seconds later**

Maybe he takes them out.

No teeth clashing involved in any case..

**one second later**

Erlack, erlack! Shut up brain, just shut up!

**five minutes later**

"BOO!"

I jumped a foot into the air.

**one second later**

I hadn't noticed Dave creeping up behind me.

He leant his chin on my shoulder and said "Did I scare you?"

"No."

"I think I did."

"I don't think so."

Dave put his arms around my waist and nuzzled my neck a bit.

He purred "Kittykat, what are you doing outside, all by yourself, while you could be having such a laugh inside. You missed quite the speech back there."

I turned around and said "That is the point. I don't want to be part of the common humiliation that some of the utterly insane call 'family'."

Dave laughed a bit and said "Your Mum is quite the laugh, Gee. Nothing to worry about at all. I wish my family was this interesting. I get bored quite a bit when I'm at home."

"Quite the laugh? You could fit in well, oh insane one. Would you like to trade?"

"Certainly."

"It can be arranged."

He smiled. Gorgey porgey cheeky smile.

He let go of me and sat down on the curb. He patted the ground next to him.

**five seconds later**

When I sat down, Dave put his arm round my shoulders, and I leaned in to him. Quite comfy.

**one second later**

"So.. That was awkward, with Robbie.."

Way to ruin a comfy moment, Mr. Laugh.

* * *

**Sorry for the shortness.**

**A bit of a cliffy there, heh. It's 11.15 and I have school tomorrow, so.. Sorry,. :)**

**R&R! ;)**

**xx**


	4. Slug animal

**Happy days thanks to you, reviewers. Thank you all!**

**Anyway, most of this was written during Dutch classes, because they are so clearly boring, it's horrific. I strongly believe my teacher is a witch from the Middle Ages. **

**This is going to be a bit full of aggers. Dun-dun-dun..**

* * *

**one second later**

"Er, yeah. At least he knows what a slug animal Lindsay is."

"Yeah, about that.."

"What?"

"Do you still.. care?"

"What do you mean?"

"You know.. Are you, perhaps, jealous, of Lindsay?"

Jealous? Of Lindsay? For what?

**one second later**

Oh. Robbie. Right.

**one second later**

"No! Why would I want Robbie? I have you. Why would you even think that?"

"I don't know.. Just.. Never mind, okay.."

He suddenly got up and went inside. I nearly tipped over.

Blimey.

**two minutes later**

Just as I went inside, I nearly walked into Robbie. Typico.

He said "Georgia, can I chat with you for a minute?"

I simply nodded. In the corner of my eye, I could see Dave eyeing me from across the room.

**outside**

Robbie leaned against the wall. I stood across from him, keeping my distance, just in case my big red bottom decides to make a surprise appearance.

Robbie was just looking at me like a seeing eye dog thing.

How weird.

**five seconds later**

Still looking.

**five seconds later**

I said "So.. You wanted to chat?" My voice sounded a bit off. How utterly strange and weird.

"Er, yeah.. I was just wondering. Is it true, what you said?"

"About what?"

"Lindsay and Masimo."

I had a bit of a strop. "Well, er, yes.. I didn't really mean to rat her out like that, and I thought you would have dumped her already anyway." Oh, bugger. Did I just say that out loud?

He smiled. "Oh, really?"

"Er, yeah. She's so slimey and simply, er.."

"Horrible?"

"Yes."

"I agree with you completely."

"You do?"

"Yes.. I didn't really like her anyway.."

"You didn't?"

"No.. It appears I'm still stuck to someone else. Unfortunately, as I just found out, she's taken."

He couldn't mean me, could he?

We had that talk, otherwise known as sobfest _extraordinaire_. He can't still mean me.

**one second later**

Suddenly, I had a flash of the whatsit and caught the bull by its, er, horns.

In those naff cartoons Mum makes Libby watch, the little people get lightbulbs above their heads.

**one second later**

I didn't really have a lightbulb anywhere near my head, just a virtual one, you know.

**one second later**

Anyway, a lot of things suddenly made sense in my brain.

I wasn't in jelloid knicker mode.

I hadn't had any cases of mad brain disease occasionally popping up.

Whilst I was talking to Robbie, the original Sex God.

Who had appearantly just officially reached the state of former/ex-Sex God.

**one second later**

Giddy God's pyjamas. What has become of the world?

**one second later**

But why is it, that Robbie doesn't hold his Sex God-ness anymore?

He's double gorgey with knobs, obviously, but it isn't the same..

**one second later**

Really, really gorgey porgey..

But that's not _le_ point.

**one second later**

I think it's because of Dave.

**one second later**

But who else would he like then? It couldn't possibly be me, could it?

I said "Who is it then?"

He looked at me with a weary look in his eyes.

"You, Gee."

"What? But we already talked about that, I..-"

"I know, but at the time, you were with Masimo.. I thought that when you broke up with him we could.."

"Oh."

That was all I could come up with. Oh.

Robbie half-smiled and said "I guess things are going quite well with Dave then?" His eyes were a bit sad. I nodded.

"But why are you telling me this now? I don't understand."

"I.. er.. I'm going back to New Zealand."

"What?"

"It's a one year programme. I'm halfway now, this is my break."

"Has it already been that long?"

He smiled, but it wasn't a happy smile. "Time flies."

"It does." We were just standing there, looking at each other again.

"I'll miss you Robbie."

"Really?"

"You know, when you first left, I forced myself not to think of you. It made me feel miz."

"I had that too. I felt really bad about leaving."

"I know."

He was silent for a bit, and then said "You went out with Dave before you went out with me, right? How did you end up with him again?"

"Yes, but that was.." I wasn't going to explain it all to him now. "..different. When I was seeing Masimo, Dave was going out with Emma, she was his _girlfriend_, you know." Oh no, not again. Robbie raised his eyebrows.

"We were being really good mates."

"Just mates?" Robbie half-smiled.

"Er.. With incidental snogs in between." I can't believe I just told him that.

Robbie smiled. "I think I understand."

I smiled and nodded.

He ran his hand through his hair and said "Well.. I'd better be off before I say something more stupid than I just did." He half-smiled again. "I really do like you Georgia, I like you a lot. That won't change.. I just wanted you to know that, I guess.."

"I know."

He leant in and kissed my cheek.

"I'll see you then.. Bye Gee."

"Bye Robbie."

**five seconds later**

I watched him walk off and leant against the wall.

**ten seconds later**

Suddenly, Dave popped up out of nowhere. (oo-er)

He didn't say anything, he went over to my side and leant against the bit of wall next to me.

I looked at him.

He looked at me in a strange way.

"So.. What did Robbie want?"

"He just wanted to chat."

"About what?"

"The Masimo-snogging-slug animal-fandango."

"Nothing else?"

Judging his Dave the Unlaugh-ish expression, it was quite clear that he'd been listening to our conversation.

So I said "Obviously, you've heard everything, so why don't you tell me?"

He looked away.

I had a minor tizz right then and there. I said "Can't you just trust me?"

"I trust you, Gee, it's _him_ I don't trust."

"Why?"

"Jeez, Gee, I don't know! You've gone over my back to get to him before, remember?"

"You think I'm using you to get to Robbie?"

He crossed his arms. "You tell me."

Oh my giddy God. This can't be happening. I was about to go ballisticimus.

**one second later**

I refuse to move back to the rack of love again. I will not lose my Laugh.

I went to stand in front of him and looked into his eyes. He was staring at me in a very strange way. Confusiosity personified.

I said "Don't do this, Dave. You know that I love you. Not Robbie, but _you_. Why can't you just believe that?"

He looked at his feet and mumbled "I don't know."

I did stormies off.

**one minute later**

**tarts' wardrobe**

Finally, alone.

**one minute later**

Jas came storming in. Typico.

"Oh, here you are! What happened? I saw you and Robbie walk off and Dave following you, and I wondered what was up!"

I just looked at her.

"Where did Robbie go? And Dave?"

"Robbie went off, and Dave's outside."

"What?"

"Robbie told me he liked me, Dave heard and got into a strop about it, and he just won't believe me."

"Believe what?"

"That I love him."

Jas stared at me.

"What, Jas?"

"Do you _love_ him?"

"Yes."

"_Love_?"

"Yes, Jas, what about it?"

"Blimey, Georgia! You're finally in a mature relationship!"

"Shut up."

"With Dave the Laugh!"

"Shut up."

"Oh my giddy God."

"Shut up, Jas! Just shut up! I really can't bother about the maturosity of my so-called relationship right now, there might not even be a relationship at all."

Jas huffed and flicked her fringe.

She said "What? What happened?"

"I just told you, Jas! The Robbie-fandango?"

"Oh, yes, right."

"Dave thinks he's a decoy duck again?"

"A decoy duck? For who?"

"For Robbie, Jas! Pay attention!"

"Oh, yes." She flicked her fringe. "Blimey, Gee, what are you going to do?"

"I don't know, Jas, that is the point here."

"Blimey."

"I know."

She flicked her fringe again and rubbed her hands together. "You should go and talk to him."

"I just did that."

"Just do it again. Gird your loins, pucker up and go."

Cor blimey! Jas was actually making sense.. "Fine."

I walked out and walked straight into Dave. Literally. When I nearly fell over he caught me by the arms and said "Steady there, Sex Kitty. I know I'm irresistible, but.." I smiled and smacked his arm.

He half-smiled his cheeky smile and said "I know you wouldn't do the decoy thing to me again, and I _do_ trust you, it's just.. When I heard Robbie say those things to you I accidentally made a trip to strop central. I'm really sorry." He laid his hand agaist my cheek and did the face stroking thing.

I took his free hand and said "I've plighted my troth now, to you, and you know it. Just keep that in mind from now on."

Dave smiled. "I will."

"Good."

I was about to snog the living daylight out of Dave, when Vati suddenly showed up.

"Everything a'ight here?" He obviously had a bit too much vino.

I said "Go away."

Surprisingly enough, he went off, mumbling something like "Kids nowadays."

I can't be bothered, I have more important matters at hand. (oo-er)

**five seconds later**

When I was about to do another attempt at snogging Dave, Uncle Eddie came strolling up to us. Can anyone tell me why snogging my betrothed has turned into a mission?

Uncle Eddie's codpiece was on his head now.

He said "Oy, you young lovebirds. Fancy a quick show of the Baldy-O-Gram?"

I said "Thanks, but no thanks, Uncle Eddie. Why is your codpiece on your head?"

"It adds a bit of flavour to the show. Sure you don't want to? I won't charge you.. much." He started snivveling like an idiot, which occasionally, he is.

Vati suddenly appeared behind him. "Yeah, a family discount, you know.." They both started laughing like loons. It must have been the vino tinto.

**one minute later**

Vati and Uncle Eddie just won't go away! They keep on rambling on about things I really don't want to understand.

When Vati started talking rubbish about 'them young broads', I had had enough.

I said "Dearest Vati, could we just be excused for one moment?"

He said "Surely. Don't stay away too long, your Uncle has much more stories to tell you."

Oh, dear Lord Sandra, make him go away.

**one minute later**

Dave and I nearly ran into the hallway. As soon as we were alone, Dave took my face in his hands and kissed me quite hardly on the lips. He let his hands slide down towards my waist, trailing over my nungas in the progress. I put my arms around his neck and he softly pushed me against the wall.

**twenty minutes later**

Jelloidosity personified. Do I have to say more?

I was leaning against the wall, and Dave was leaning his forehead against mine. We were both nearly panting.

**one minute later**

I tried to look into his eyes, but I nearly went cross-eyed as I did it.

Dave said "Fantastic snogging, missus."

I wanted to say "You weren't half as bad yourself either.", but I only got to "You w.." when Mutti came storming past us with Libby in her arms. She was absolutely ballistic.

Suddenly, she saw us, skidded to a stop, and said "Georgia, Dave, we're leaving."

Dave stared at me, wide eyed.

Mum yelled "NOW!"

I didn't dare argue with that.

**in the "car"**

Obviously, something had happened, so I decided to sit in the front. Dave was in the back with Libbs.

Mum was staring at the road incredulously. I said "Mum? Where's Dad?"

She just shook her head.

"Not now, Georgia."

"But Mum, how is he going to get home if you took the car? You just left him behind."

"Not now, I said."

Bloody buggeration, what's going on?

* * *

**This chappie is a bit longer, I went over 2000 words, which is what I used to do with God's pyjamas. I am so proud of me. I just became set on a certain plotline, which I'm quite a bit excited about. It involves Mutti, Vati, and a bit of aggers, but not too much. Gee and Dave will be solid for the most part.It will all end well, I promise.**

**Anyway, I think this story lacks reviews, don't you? ;)**

**x**


	5. A quite cool forest

**8 reviews for last chapter! Thank you so much everyone!**

**So.. I really shouldn't be updating as coming week is a test week, but I just couldn't resist. I'm sorry that it's been a week again, but I've been **_**so**_** busy. School is demanding all of me. **

**And I sprained my ankle. It hurts vair badly. It really sucks, I haven't been able to go out or anything this weekend. Bluh.**

**And I can't remember if Gee's met Dave's parents in One last snog. I know she did in God's pyjamas, but One last snog? Hmm. I think not, but I can't be sure. Forgive me if she's already met them, I'm just going to act as if she did not. **

**This chappie is going to be a bit more serious-relationship-fluff-ish-y. That's all I've got in my head now.**

**Anyways. Chapter 5.**

* * *

**4 p.m.**

**in my room**

Dave and I are sitting on my bed, hand in hand, looking at each other.

**one minute later**

Still looking.

**one minute later**

Mutti refuses to tell me what happened with Vati.

When I asked her, she said "It's none of your business, now go to your room."

She is incredibly rude, that Mutti of mine. That is simply _le_ fact.

**one second later**

I'm getting a bit worried though. She locked herself in her room and hasn't come out for the past half hour.

**one minute later**

Libbs is in her room. I can hear her chucking things around.

**one minute later**

As I said to Dave, I don't want to be here when Vati arrives home.

Dave said "We could go to my house. My Mum is dying to meet you."

I said "Hahahaha."

"No need to be nervous. My Mum is nowhere near as mad as yours."

"Fanks."

**one minute later**

"I want to get out of this dress though."

Dave grinned his cheeky grin. "I'm not stopping you."

"Dave."

"Okay, okay."

**five minutes later**

So.. Dark purple shirt, black skinny jeans.

Or black skirt.

I'm not going through this again.

**one minute later**

Skirt. It speaks of maturosity and vair much sophisticosity.

**one minute later**

Jeans, the skirt could speak Sex Kitty-osity a bit too much when meeting Dave's parents.

Besides, it could be a tad bit on the minx-ish side whilst snogging.

**one second later**

Jeans, deffo.

I feel a hint of geniosity coming up, as I already reapplied my makeup I don't have to waste time with that.

**one minute later**

Would lipgloss be a good idea?

**one second later**

_Non._

**ten minutes later**

**outside**

As we walked out of the house, a cab pulled up. Vati and Uncle Eddie came falling out of it, yelling and laughing like loons on loon tablets. Or lots of vino tinto. Whatever comes first.

I just looked away.

**one second later**

Mr. Next Door will probably come over and nag about it.

I don't even care.

Much.

**seven minutes later**

**house of laugh**

Dave led me around the house, we went in through the back door. He pulled me into the kitchen. A short, brown haired woman, I assumed it was Dave's Mum, was fiddling around the stove.

Dave slammed the back door and said rather loudly "Greetings Mother, it is _I_ who has graced your humble kitchen with my presence."

She giggled. "Don't you dare to call my kitchen humble, you cheeky boy."

It _is_ a rather nice kitchen. It looks a whole lot better than the dump my Mutti "cooks" in.

When she saw me, her whole face lit up. "You must be Georgia! How lovely to finally meet you!" She gave me a small hug. "I'm Irina, Dave's Mum."

I smiled at her. "Nice to meet you too. You do have a nice kitchen."

Irina beamed at Dave. "Such a lovely girl."

Dave looked down at me and said "I know."

I don't know why, but I really had to smile at that.

**one minute later**

Dave's Mum led us into the living room.

"Pete, Pete! Look who Dave brought!"

A black haired man looked up from his paper.

"Ah, this must be the infamous Georgia."

Dave's Mum said "Yes, yes. Isn't she lovely?"

The man got up and walked towards me. He shook my hand and said "I'm Pete, Dave's Dad."

"Georgia."

"How nice to finally meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too."

Pete turned to Irina. "Such lovely manners. If only our kids behaved like that."

Irina nodded. "I know. Georgia, you must have great parents."

Dave and I looked at each other and chuckled.

I said "Er, they're a bit.. strange."

Dave put his arm around my waist and said "Mother, Father, may we be excused from this lovely gathering?"

Dave's Dad pointed at Dave and said "No funny business."

Dave nodded solemnly and pulled me with him to the hallway.

**hallway**

"So, Kittykat. Fancy a tour around the mansion?"

"I see where this is going. Mister Ego is playing up again."

"You know you love it." He gestured towards the stairs and bowed a bit. "After you, my lady."

As I passed him, he smacked my bum.

I giggled(!) and said "Keep your hands to yourself, Mister."

"You mean Biscuit. _Jack_ the Biscuit." He waggled his eyebrows.

I smacked his arm and walked up the stairs.

**upstairs**

Dave walked to the end of the hallway and pointed out his sister's, brother's and parents' room. There was another staircase at the other end of the hallway.

Dave said "Up there, missus."

dave's room

Dave's got quite a cool room. Messy, but cool.

The walls are a dark, foresty type of green. Normally I hate all things forest/Jas, but this is a cool type of forest. The floor is dark wood, and the furniture actually matches. In a strange way, that surprised me. A lot.

**one second later**

And his elderly insane are not quite that insane.

**one second later**

And.. He's got a really wide, vair comfy looking bed.

**one second later**

Not in _that_ way.

**one second later**

Dave grabbed my hand and pulled me closer to him.

He said "So, Kittykat, what do you think? Is it Jack the Biscuite-esque?"

"Quite biscuity and vair, vair cool with knobs indeedio. Although it seems you've been talking a lot about me, according to your not-so-insane elderly."

Dave looked away. "Er, yeah. I get quite strange about you sometimes."

I put my arms around his neck and kissed him softly.

I said "I think it's sweet."

Dave put his arms around my waist.

**three minutes later**

Number 4 and 5 with a hint of 6..

**one minute later**

Dave slowly walked us towards the door, whilst snogging. He closed the door, turned us around, and we snog-walked to his bed.

I felt the edge of the bed against the back of my legs, appearantly Dave felt it too (don't ask me how _he_ could feel the bed against _my_ legs, that is just the mystery of having a Laugh for a boyfriend.)

So, anyway, Dave gave me a bit of a push and we dropped down on his bed.

**ten minutes later**

Deffo number 6.

Yummy scrumboes.

**five minutes later**

I know I might have said it before, but Dave really is tip top snogger..

**one minute later**

I slid my hands under his shirt and rubbed his back a bit. He did the same to me.

Definitely virtual number 8 going on.

**fifteen minutes later**

_Real_ number 8!

**five minutes later**

I heard a bit of scampering outside of the room. Appearantly, Dave heard it too, because he rolled off me. He straightened his shirt out a bit, and then straightened out mine.

He put his arm around my shoulders and we lied down again.

Then Dave's Mutti knocked on the door and yelled "Dave, whatever you're doing in there, cover yourself up, I'm coming in in ten!"

She started counting down out loud, which made us laugh like loons on loon tablets.

**ten seconds later**

Dave's Mutti walked in and actually looked quite surprised at the both of us.

She huffed and said "Well."

Dave said "Better luck next time."

"That wasn't what I was aiming at and you know it."

"Do I?"

She tutted. Dave grinned.

"What I actually came for in the first place.. Georgia, dear, would you like to stay for dinner?"

"Sure." No way in hell that I was going back to the Swiss Family Mad anytime soon.

"Do you need to call in with your parents?"

"No, they won't mind. They've probably bitten each others' heads off by now."

Dave snorted.

His Mutti looked quite concerned and sat down on the bed.

"Are they having.. problems?"

"I'm not sure.. My Mutti won't tell me."

I told her about what happened today. I don't know why I did it, I just did.

She sighed and said "They probably just need time.. I think you really should call in though. They might be worried where you disappeared to."

Fat chance.

**two minutes later**

Called home.

Libby answered the phone, laughing madly as always.

"Heggy-heggy-ho-ho-ho! Peoples in the phones! Do you want to hear my new song? It's called Sex Bum."

"Libbs, no, I just want to.."

"SEX BUM, SEX BUM, YOU'RE MA SEX BUM! YEAAAH BUMMYBUMMY, SEX BUM!!"

"Libby! Can you please give Mum the phone now?"

"MUMMEE! IT'S GINGEY ON THE PHONE!"

I heard a lot of scampering. Mutti tutted at Libby and said "Bad girl, you know you're not allowed to play with the phone."

"Heggy-heggy-ho-ho."

Mum finally answered the phone.

"This is Connie."

"Mum, it's me."

"Who?"

"Georgia, you're oldest daughter, who's been away f..-"

"Where in the name of arse have you been? I come out of my room to find Libby smashing her room to bits and pieces, and you're not there!"

"I know, Mum, I'm at Dave's now. I saw Dad and Uncle Eddie though, coming out of the cab, and..-"

"Did you see that?"

"Yes."

"I'm so sorry, Georgie, I really am."

"I know, Mum."

"Your Dad and I just.. We don't really get along when he drinks this much, and.."

"Where is he now?"

"He's staying over at Uncle Eddie's for a while."

"Mum! You can't let him stay over there! Who knows what will become of him!"

"He'll be fine."

"Mum. Uncle Eddie was wearing his hot pink feather codpiece on his head, at your fathers' wedding. I don't call that 'fine'."

"Don't worry too much about it.. Could you be home on time tonight though?"

"Why?"

"I need you to babysit Libby. I'm going out with the girls tonight."

"Well, I'm staying over for dinner at Dave's."

"Straight home after that."

"Mum!"

"Bye now!"

She hung up on me.

**one minute later**

Dave put his arms around me. "Everything alright?"

"Appearantly, Vati is living at Uncle Eddie's now."

"What? Why would he do that?"

"I don't know. And now Mum's going out with the 'girls' and I have to babysit Libby again, and I need to go home straight after dinner."

"Want me to babysit with you?"

"Do you want to?"

"Of course."

Irina came walking in.

"So, is everything alright?"

"I can have dinner here, but I have to go home straight after."

"She has to babysit her sister tonight, her Mum's going out. Can I go with her?"

Irina smiled. "Sure you can." She walked over and pinched Dave's cheek. "Sweet boy."

Dave actually blushed.

**five minutes later**

Sitting around the table with Dave's parents, and Dave. Appearantly, his sister is at a friends' house and his brother is late.

**two minutes later**

Dave's older brother came barging in. He looked a little bit like Dave, but he was much taller and very spotty.

"Sorry I'm late, folks. Got held up at the pool place."

When he saw me, he grinned.

He leaned across the table and shook my hand. "I'm Vince."

"Georgia."

"Georgia?! You're the girl Dave's been talking non-stop about for the past years!"

When I looked at Dave, he went a bit red around the nose and took a big sip of water.

**five minutes later**

"So.. Georgia. How long have the two of you been going out now?"

"Er.. Six weeks."

"Oh, splendid! So, do you snog often?"

Irina coughed and said "Vince! Enough already!" She smacked the back of his head.

"You went out together before, right?" He looked at me. "But then you.."

"Vince." Irina said in a threatening tone. "Would you get the desert, dear?"

Vince gave her a look, but then went to go get the desert.

**two minutes later**

Desert turned out to be amazingly delicious chocolate cake. It was amazing.

Irina turned to me. "Do you like the cake?"

"I love it. Did you make this yourself?"

Irina nodded proudly.

Pete said "Irina sure loves to get around in the kitchen." He rubbed his stomach. "We're not complaining.."

I said "Wow. My Mum hardly ever used the stove. Mostly we get pre-cooked meals, we just have to heat them up."

"There's nothing wrong with that. Some people just can't find the time. I only work part-time, you know."

"Oh, my Mum does that too."

Irina looked at me.

"Oh."

**ten minutes later**

**walking to my house**

Dave's got his arm around my shoulders. He said "My mum's really crazy about you. She even hugged you when we left."

"I know. She's so sweet. I expected a mad house, but your family is so.. Cosy."

Dave laughed a bit. "Yeah, they're great most of the time.. Vince normally is my person to talk to, you know. Although he was getting on my nerves today."

"He probably means well."

"Probably."

**two minutes later**

As we were walking up to my house, we heard some kind of banging noise.

Uncle Eddie's 'motorcycle' was in the driveway.

Oh no.

* * *

**Ooh! Cliffy! And 10 pages in Word! I'm so proud of me.**

**So, what do you think?**

**  
R&R!**

**xx**


	6. Have you seen my hair?

**Oh my giddy God. Yesterday at school we had a big show, the 'Sketch and Music Night'. Me and my friends made up a dance routine which involved 4 lads in tutu's (you know, the ballet-dress things). And I think that accidentally, I made one of the tutu-lads fancy me. A lot. On accident. And I don't know what to do about it. I don't want to be a mean heartbreaker, but I think I have to be.**

**And I think I might have found my very own Sex God. Only he doesn't sing, and play the guitar, but he plays the trumpet. (Yes, I know. Not very Sex-Goddish, but he might be a good snogger.) He's quite fit looking and all that, and the best friend of one of my best boy-friends. (not boyfriend, but boy-friend, friends who are boys, you get my point.)**

**But, anyways.. Here goes the chapter.. It is significantly shorter than ch. 5, but well. **

**

* * *

**

**6 p.m.  
**_**chez**_** bonkers**

When we walked inside the house, I immediately noticed Vati's stuff lying around.

Mutti probably chucked it around again.

**one minute later**

What's that noise I'm hearing?

**one minute later**  
**front room**

Oh my giddy God's pyjamas. Vati and Uncle Eddie are jumping around in their undercrackers, playing the air guitar to 'Love Revolution'.

"Oy, Georgia! Sing it with me!" Uncle Eddie said.

"I think I'll pass.."

"IT IS TIME!" Vati yelled.

"FOR A LOVE!" Uncle Eddie.

"REVOLUTION!" Both.

I looked around the room. It was an absolute mess, plus two empty bottles of vino tinto on the coffee table. Fab.

"Vati?"

"There is looooove! And it won't let you down!"

"Vati!"

"It is TIME!"

"VATI!"

"Yes, dear?"

Dear?

"How much vino tinto have you had?"

"Oh! Enough, believe me!"

"I believe you, Vati. Why don't you just go over to Uncle Eddie's house and 'party' over there?"

"Oh, we were there before.."

"Bob forgot his leather trousers."

"I see."

**fifteen minutes later  
my room**

After much rambling about, they went into the kitchen to eat. Silence. Finally.

"So, Gee, does this happen often?" Dave was grinning at me from the bed, looking vair groovy.

I stood leaning against the door.

"No. This was a first. Although I've seen Uncle Eddie in his undercrackers before."

"Not a pretty sight." He snorted.

"I agree."

He patted the space beside him.

"Sit with me, Sex Kitty. You know you want to." He grinned his cheeky grin.

**one minute later**

Snogging.

**twenty-five minutes later**

6 and 7 with a hint of virtual number 8.

**ten minutes later**

Mutti suddenly barged in.

Dave rolled off me, right on the floor.

Mutti just ignored it all.

"Gee, what in the name of arse happened downstairs?"

"Dad and Uncle Eddie had an air-guitar match."

She cussed and stomped back downstairs again. It's strange that we didn't hear her coming up.

And where did Vati and Uncle Eddie disappear to?

**five seconds later**

Dave mumbled from the floor "Quite the vocabulary your mum has on her."

"Shut up."

"Is that your way of showing respect to the disabled?"

"I don't see any disabled here."

"Well, I might have fractured my back."

"You so didn't."

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Did too."

"Did not."

"Okay, I may not have _fractured_ it, but it hurts like billio."

"What have I got to do with that?"

"You could massage my back."

"No."

**one minute later  
on the bed  
rubbing dave's back**

Typico.

I'm sitting on Dave's bum, rubbing the middle of his back.

That is quite an oo-er, isn't it?

**fifteen minutes later**

Uncle Eddie came bounding into the room.

In his undercrackers.

And a cape.

_Quelle surprise. _

No, really, the cape is new.

He said "Oy, Georgie, have you seen my hair?"

"Old joke, uncle Eddie, old joke."

"No, seriously, have you seen it?"

I'm going to kill myself if this goes on anytime longer.

**one minute later**

"And have you seen my codpiece? I think I might have lost it here."

Erlack a pongoes!

My ears have just died.

I can not bear this any longer.

**one minute later**

"Where were you anyway? Didn't Mutti see you?"

"Mutti?"

"My Mum, you know, Connie."

"Oh, Connie, yes.. We went around the back."

"Why?"

"We're digging a hole in the back yard."

Oh, right. Logical.

**one minute later**

When Uncle Eddie scampered off, I went over to the window.

I did the dramatic Titanic-move, the tragic "Do you trust me"-moan-moan part, without anyone holding me, but then Dave pulled me back.

This is the tragicosity of my life. I'm not even allowed to end it.

**five seconds later**

Bang, bang, slam.

**one second later**

I'd better get downstairs to prevent them from killing each other, or whatever it is that so-called parents do.

**one second later**

Dave wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me into his chest.

"So.. What happened to the babysitting plan?"

"I don't know.."

"Me neither. I don't see a baby that we can sit on."

I looked at him.

"You know what will happen when you go and sit on Libby."

"Figurally speaking, of course."

He actually looked a bit frightened.

**five minutes later**

As we walked down the stairs, we saw Vati and Uncle Eddie scamper out the door. Uncle Eddie was still in his undercrackers, snivelling like a loon. Vati looked a lot less happy.

Oh well.

**front room**

Mutti is on the floor, with Libby on her lap.

"Mum? What are you doing?"

"He left."

"You wanted him to leave."

"Yes, but not really."

What?

"Mum, what are you talking about?"

"I don't know. I have to get ready. Take Libby."

She got up and pushed Libby in my arms.

"GINGEY! GINGERR! WE WENT TO THE STORE TODAY!"

"Okay, Libbs, stop shouting."

"WHAT'S SHOUTING?!"

"Talking loudly."

"OKAY!"

"Don't do that."

"Oh." She whispered. "Does it hurt Ginger's ears?"

"Yes."

"OKAY! WHERE'S THE BIG KITTY CAT!" She wiggled around, so I put her down.

Dave put his arm around my waist and said "Right here."

He winked at Libby. She giggled.

**one minute later**

But seriously, where is Angus?

**one minute later**

I heard the prat poodles making strange noises, so it should be okay.

**five minutes later  
sitting on the couch**

We're watching a strange tv show about people guessing questions. The strange, dandy guy gives the people an answer, and they yell the question and get money for it.

What's even the point in that?

**one minute later**

I wonder if Libby already ate dinner.

**one minute later**

Hahaha, I surprise myself with my own hilariosity sometimes.

**one second later**

Libby suddenly was standing next to me.

"Ginger, I'm hungry."

I looked at her. Maybe she's got a hint of a Mystic Meg to her.

"FETCH ME SOME FOOD, BAD BOY!"

Never mind.

Dave said "Let's take her out to eat somewhere."

He turned to Libby. "Would you like that, Libbs?"

She blushed and nodded.

**five minutes later**

We're walking with Libby in between us, holding her hands.

It felt quite nice to walk like that. Dave keeps taking 'casual' peeks at me, i.e. staring shamelessly whenever he gets the chance. We must really look like a couple now.

**five seconds later**

Hopefully, no one would think Libby was our child. I wouldn't want people to think I raised a raging mad toddler.

**one minute later**

Dave keeps swinging her back and forth. It would be quite cute, if I could ignore the fact that she's a bit on the mad side.

I simply couldn't ignore it.

**one minute later**

We went inside this small lunchroom-fandango, which apparently also serves dinner.

Dave ordered Libby a basket of chips, and got us a coke to share. We went to sit at a table.

Mum normally forces Libby in a highchair. When Dave tried to get her in, she started to scream. You know how you see people massively turn around towards the noise in really naff movies?

Well, that just about sums up what happened.

**one second later**

We sat Libby down on a 'big chair'. She's smiling the sticky-out teeth-ish smile. She thinks she looks cute, but actually looks a tad bit scary.

**five minutes later**

The cashier is still glaring at us.

I think he actually _wants_ Libby to start screaming again, so he can come over here and unleash his common naffosity at us.

**one minute later**

"Gee, the cashier is staring at us."

"I know, why would he do that?"

"I don't know, I think he's looking you over."

What?!

"What? He isn't! He's just waiting to kick us out."

Dave peered over at the cashier again and said "No, definitely staring."

I glared at him. (At Dave, not the cashier.)

"So.. You don't think he would mind a quick snog?"

"Dave.. Are you having homosexualistic tendencies?"

He chuckled. "You're such a loon. I meant snogging you."

"How could I ever turn down a snog?"

Dave did pretendy beard stroking. "Hmm. You couldn't. I am Jack the Biscuit after all."

"Indeedio."

He leaned over the table, ran his hand across my cheek and kissed me very softly for a few seconds, and then leaned back again.

As Dave peered over at the cashier, Libby started banging on the table and 'sang' "DAVEY AND GINGEY, SNOGGLIN' IN A TREE. SNOGGLIN', SNOGGLIN', SNOGGLIN'!"

She was laughing madly, in the 'heggy-heggy-hog-hog-hog' way.

I tried to 'shh' her, but it just made her laugh harder.

**three seconds later**

The cashier was suddenly at Dave's side.

"I'm terribly sorry, but I'm afraid I have to ask you to leave."

Dave grinned and looked up at him. "And why would you have to do that, my dearest chum?"

"I, er.. You're causing quite a disturbance."

"Who would we be disturbing?"

"Please leave now."

"What happens if I refuse?"

"I could always make you."

"How?"

"I'll think of a way."

Libby started laughing again. I laughed with her a bit. But not as hysterically.

"Is this a fisticuffs at dawn I'm sensing?"

"A what?"

"You know what I mean."

"I don't."

"You do."

"I don't."

"I think you most certainly do."

"Really, I don't."

The cashier truly looked confused.

**one second later**

Hahahaha!

**fifteen minutes later**

Eventually, the chavvy cashier called the manager, who had to force Dave out by grabbing his arm and pushing him out the door.

Libby was still laughing hysterically, she couldn't walk on her own so I had to carry her.

Dave was laughing to himself.

I said "That was a hoot and a half."

"It sure was. What do we do now?"

"Let's go to the park."

**So.. That's it for now. I'm having a hard time with plot development, I can't seem to figure things out. **

**I have a bit of an idea though. Gee'n'Dave might bump into someone.**

**I don't know. Hmm.**

**R&R! **

**xx**


End file.
